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i haven't written in here in forever.
how do you feel about that?
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Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
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Ew, I'm gross.
Communities on livejournal make me realize why I hate the internet so much and only use it once or twice a week if I'm lucky. It's sad that the internet is so important to some people. Anyway, I'm in O'Fallon today visiting an old friend. We smoked some weeee and then drank some lemonade. We also visited our old teachers. It was a nice time. Things need to start changing soon or I'm going to go nuts. I need to get motivated.
BYE.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
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| Time: | 7:08 pm. |
| Mood: |  calm. |
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I got my septum repierced today. It hurt just a smidge, but it wasn't too bad. The piercer was great. I think I'm in love with him. I'm going to see Capote tonight with my co-workers. Hopefully some tea will be consumed before hand, I'm getting bored sitting in Bread Company. Though, I haven't listened to my iPod in awhile and that is nice. I love the music I listen to. I miss my friends. All of you. I don't care if I've seen you in the past day, I still miss you. Anyway, I didn't do much today besides that. All of you need to download or buy some Joanna Newsom. She is amazing. Okay, bye.
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Monday, January 30th, 2006
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| Time: | 10:26 pm. |
| Mood: |  drunk. |
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So, I'm drunk and just saw MatchPoint at the Chase. It was a great movie, I really recommend it. Tomorrow, I believe I am going to see Capote with Lisa and Anthony. That should be double the fun of tonight. I think I am going to go home and drink some Newcastle and watch Annie Hall. I'm in a Woody Allen mood now. I wish my Netflix movies would hurry up and arrive. I'm sick of going to Hollywood Video. I have the next two days off. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I think I'm going to start going to the YMCA again. Scratch that, I NEED to. I'm going to go tomorrow when I wake up. Also, I need a nice boyfriend. If you can find that for me, let me know. I also need to read Middlesex, really soon. All I've been doing lately is watching movies. It's not pathetic, but I need to get back into the swing of reading more than frequently. Anyway, my computer screen is about to fall over and the Grind is getting too smokey. Byebye.
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Saturday, January 28th, 2006
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I'm in a computing center. Aren't I hip? Yes, I know I am. I went to Thai Pizza Co. I couldn't handle the three stars of spicyness because I'm a wuss. I thought my Saturday night off would be amazing and fun, but it just ended up being me falling asleep when I got home for 3 hours and then eating specialspicy noodles in peanut sauce with my roomie. It was still fun, though. I've been looking around at colleges and so far I'm going to apply to Ohio State University. I know some peeps who have gone there for English B.A.'s, so I figure now that I'm on brain medication, WHAT THE HELL?! Right? I have to work from 10 a.m. until 11 p.m. tomorrow. That is going to be interesting. I haven't been working, so I'm sure I'll be thoroughly exhausted. I went to Attitudes last night with Dawn and Lisa. When we arrived we discovered there was a 15 DOLLAR COVER FOR MINORS. I was weary, but I'm glad I dished out the dough. It was really fun. There was a terrible drag show and ALOT of dancing. It was incredibly fun. About halfway through the drag show Arik, Ciara, Katie, Justin, Mark, Sergio, Valentine, Emily and Brad showed up. Then around 1am or so, Jaffa showed up too! It was a fun gathering of friends. I was out until about 3:00 am and had to work at 11:00 am. Needless to say, I was a little bit sleepy. But I made it through my 7 hour day. I think I'm going to go get some ice cream now and then go home and watch movies and possibly drink some BEER. Goodnight everyone.
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Friday, January 27th, 2006
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So, I called into both of my jobs today. This infection just seems to be getting worse. I was losing my voice earlier today and right now I need a tissue in my hand every other second. I'm going to go to my dads house tonight and do my taxes. I finally got my W-2 from K-Mart, so I need to get that over with. I also need to get 65 dollars from my brother, because he owes me it. He wrote me a check a week or so ago for 60 dollars and it got returned, along with a 5 dollar service fee. He owed me 80 in the first place but only gave me 60. Whatever, as long as I get my money. So tonight will be full of taxes and relaxing. Then back to work in the morning. I've only worked 3 hours in the past five days. I can't really afford it but I can't really afford working when I'm ill either. I'm going to go now. Have a good night everyone.
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Thursday, January 26th, 2006
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| Time: | 9:23 pm. |
| Mood: |  sick. |
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I just tried to go to work. It didn't work at all. I got sweaty and coughy and you know, sick. I left a note for my manager and told him I wouldn't be in tomorrow. I feel bad about not being able to work but this infection just seems to be getting worse and I can only have 6 pills a month of the prescription I need according to the pharmacy. So, this is all a big mess and I just want to get better. This was a bad time for me to get sick, starting a new job and all. I called off Meshuggah as well. I feel like a failure for some reason, when I know I shouldn't. I can't help being sick. It's just sometimes I feel like the Chase expects way too much out of me. If I could magically be better, I would. But I'm not. I overanalyze situations way too much. My brain is silly. Anyway, I'm at Screenz right now, using the internet. Our rent got reduced to 600 this month because they still haven't put the damn cabinets in or fixed the bathroom door. I cleaned my room, the bathroom and the kitchen today with Jaffa. It was fun and made me feel better about life for a little bit. Cleaning is nice. It's good to get things accomplished.
Hopefully this nasty cold will leave my system soon and I can get back to normal ol' working everyday Jessica. It's boring lying in bed all day. The drinking tea part is nice though. Anyway, Have a good night everyone.
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Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
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I just downloaded almost every Beatles album to my iPod, whilst eating 2 popsicles and a baked potato.
I didn't do much today. I woke up around 11am and got ready. Then Jaffa, Emily and I went to Bread Company and I ate some soup. I tried to do more but I just didn't feel up to it. Jaffa and I went to Value Village and she got a sweet jacket and some awesome t-shirts. I just didn't feel up for much. So we went home before she had to work and watched some Strangers with Candy. I decided to come to my dads house to download this crazy amount of music. Before I came here I went to my moms to see if my W-2 from K-Mart had come in yet, but it hadn't. I got my paycheck today. That was a nice surprise. I have to deposit that. Anyway, I think I'm going to go eat another popsicle and drive home. Jaffa and I are going to hang out with Seebot. He is the one who got me sick probably. Jerk. Haha, kidding. Seebot is probably my favorite new friend. He didn't meant to get me sick, germs are what did it. Anyway, have a good night everyone.
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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
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Go see Transamerica, it is an amazing movie.
Yesterday, I fell asleep around 3pm and woke up around 6:30pm and realized I hadn't taken any medicine all day. I was freezing and had a fever and was feeling pretty terrible. I pulled myself out of bed and took some advil and dropped my prescription off at the pharmacy. I bought a popsicle because my throat was killing me and waited the 25 minutes it took to fill my prescription. I took the medicine and went to eat at Macaroni Grill with Jaffa. I started to feel better and the food was fantastic. After the movie, we went home and went to bed.
Today, I woke up around noon. I went to work to get my check, but something went wrong with the mail and they didn't arrive today. I hope they arrive soon, because I want my money! Right now, I'm at my dads. I've been here since around 3:30pm. I've been downloading music from the internets and putting it on my iPod. I've been downloading all Cat Power, so far. I'm going to Chicago in February to see her play at show at the Vic Theatre. I'm pretty excited about that. Jaffa and I are going to take the AMTRAK and possibly stay with her friend Lex. I'm glad Jaffa and I have gotten past our indifferences and are friends now. It's nice to have friends. Tonight, I'm going to go bowling. They are having some special with pizza and soda and two hours of bowling! Tomorrow, I don't know what I'm going to do. Hopefully it'll be just as nice out as it was today, just less windy. I should probably clean my room tonight. I think I'm going to do that.
Anyway, back to downloading more Cat Power.
Goodnight everyone.
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Thursday, January 19th, 2006
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| Time: | 3:46 pm. |
| Mood: |  busy. |
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Today has been quite the day. I woke up around 11:00 am, but laid in bed listening to music until around 1:00 pm. It's a beautiful day out today and I've been soaking it up since about 1:30. I've been wondering why I haven't gotten my gas bill for December, so I finally called Laclede Gas today and talked with someone about it. They say that the gas bill was sent out on December 21st, meaning I never received it and that it was delinquent. The lady gave me my account number and balance due and I went to Dierbergs to pay it all. That was a little bit frustrating but it's all taken care of now. The bill was only 171, which included our deposit and activation fee. Divided by three people, that isn't so bad. Especially since I've been hearing from friends that their bills have been upwards of 300 dollars. That's really cheap for winter and I'm happy about it. Our electric bill was only 51 dollars for 35 days. So utilities are cheap and that's great.
I have to get a Hepatitis A shot for work, I should have gotten it months ago when I started working at the Chase, but they don't really care about things like that because they are lazy. But Patrick wants me to get it asap, so I think I'll go tomorrow. Even though I am kind of afraid of shots, I think I'll be okay. It's 30 dollars for the shot, I hope somehow I get reimbursed.
Anyway, Jaffa and I are going to enjoy what is left of the day! Then we are going to come home after I work and clean the whole apartment. We still don't have our cabinets in or our shower door or our other roommates window fixed and it's getting annoying. I'm not paying full rent until we have all that shit in. It's bullshit. So, cleaning tonight and hopefully we get our NETFLIX and we can watch Palindromes and Strangers with Candy.
I started my medicine last night and so far so good. No weird side effects or insomnia. I think I'll keep taking the pills at night. I have to work at the Chase until around 1 am. That'll be fun. I have pretty terrible cramps but I think Amy is working tonight and I don't want to call in because she freaks out when people do that. So, I'll just tough it out. I need the hours anyway.
Meshuggah is going really well. I'm picking up on things really quickly and I enjoy the atmosphere a lot. Hopefully I'll start getting more active and getting more things done now. I'm ready to change and that feeling is great.
Have a good night everyone.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, January 18th, 2006
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| Time: | 1:40 pm. |
| Mood: |  hopeful. | | Music: | Joanna Newsom - Bridges and Balloons. |
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So I went to the doctor today. Not only am I overweight, obviously, but I have depression and social anxiety disorder and this panic disorder. I don't know. I'm going to start on medication and see how that goes. Going to the doctor is more depressing than thinking about it.
I did some productive things today, like get my oil changed. I also ate at KFC. I feel dirty. I'm never going back again. I think I was craving KFC for some weird reason because I just started the rag today. I had starting it right before I have to work 5 days in a row. It's pretty shitty.
I thought I might go into Meshuggah tonight and work because I was given the opportunity but I think I might just lay at home with a heating pad on my belly and lounge around.
Well, other than going to the doctor and getting drugs for my brain, not much went on today. Yesterday Jared and I hung out. We went to El Maguey and he bought me dinner, which was very nice of him. Then we went to the Smoke Shack and bought some tasty cigars to smoke. After that, I took him to Schnucks to buy pie crust because he is really big into cooking nowadays I guess. Soon thereafter, we headed back to his house, where I haven't been in nearly a year, and he showed me his brand new 52 inch, high-definition, widescreen television. We listened to Johnny Cash, Neil Young, Queen and Bob Dylan and laughed over his gigantic porn collection. It's good to be friends. It makes me really happy. I had never really smoked a cigar until last night with Jared and I was kind of buzzed off of it. He was trying to teach me how to spit but I just kept drooling on myself. I'm a classy bitch. I had a lot of fun with him and I hope it becomes a routine to hang out every Tuesday. Especially since he isn't working overnight anymore.
Okay, I'm going to go. Have a good day everyone.
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Tuesday, January 17th, 2006
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The past couple of days have been pretty busy. I haven't had anytime to think about the internet, let alone use it. Right now, I'm in O'Fallon visiting my dad and using the computer, of course. I'm also watching American Idol. I think I'm going to go vegan again. I need to start losing weight. I'm going to start working out with my friends Mike and Emily. That should be good for me. I also have a doctors appointment tomorrow with my stepmom to start on medication for my brain. That should be good for me as well. Anyway, Jared just called and he wants to hang out, so I'm going to go. Have a good night everyone.
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Sunday, January 15th, 2006
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I decided to delete a bunch of entries. I'm a whiney bitch most of the time. I got a second job a couple of days ago at a coffee shop. It's nice. I like making coffee. I still work 5 days a week at the Chase, as well as this job, so it's a little tiring but I don't mind it that much.
Speaking of new jobs, I have to go work again, right now.
xoJess
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Friday, October 21st, 2005
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I'm holding onto things that aren't real and
things that will never be real again.
I'm so emotionally attached to him and it's ripping my heart
apart to try and let go a little.
I really don't want to let go at all,
I just want my best friend back.
I want him to pretend like he cares a little.
I just want things to be like they were before I moved away.
I don't know, maybe I craved change so much that I forgot what I left behind.
Now that I'm home again I just want my life back.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it happen but it never will.
And I can't seem to grasp that fact.
I don't have a real grasp on reality or myself or who I am at all.
I don't know what I'm doing.
My head isn't clear and it hasn't been in months.
I just want to scream.
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Sunday, September 11th, 2005
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I hate exorcism movies, but going to the City Diner at 2 in the morning and staying there until 4 is always fun. I also love Izzy, because she is the cutest pug ever. I've been eating chicken lately and I think it's because of my menstrual cycle. I finally got my rag friend, so I think my chicken phase is over. It's just kind of making me sick now. I've been working a..well, I wasn't working that much last week, but I'll be working 5 days this week, which is good. More money is always a plus. More money to spend on rent and bills and more bills. Woo. I'm really tired, so I'm going to go sleep. FOREVER. ))<>((
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Saturday, March 27th, 2004
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this journal has been deemed friends only.
those worthy will be added and able to read.
so leave a comment and i will certainly add you.
<3
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cocaine_blues's journal
aggravated.